The Mom I Want To Be

I got an email forward the other day about being a mom and feeling invisible. It was a great forward and very touching. It was also very long so I will spare you the whole thing. One part that sticks out for me is this:

"When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there."

There is someone in my life who will break down the hours in their day and tell me how many hours it took to clean, how many hours to cook, how many gallons of gas it took, how much it cost, etc. It's always awkward and I never know what to say. This person is usually complaining and it's sad to me that they spend so much time doing things they don't want to do and don't enjoy. Sure I don't enjoy cleaning the toilet but it's fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things and I don't need people to know how many minutes it took me to do it.

I'll be honest, there are times when I get a lot accomplished and I like to list it all out simply because it feels good to look at it and know I got it all done. I'm not looking for others to feel bad for me. But I digress.....

I loved that part of the email because it really speaks to the kind of mom I want to be and the kind of mom I have been working towards being more often. I want to be the mom that makes yummy dinners and always has fresh baked cookies. I want to be the mom who sends homemade cupcakes with homemade frosting to school for my child's birthday's and parties. I want to be the mom that makes my kids proud and makes them want to be around and to bring others around. I want to be the mom that does all of those things and expects nothing in return. I don't want my boys to know it took me 3 hours to make and frost the cake and then another 20 minutes to do the dishes. I just want them to know that mommy made cake and it's yummy.

So far I think I am suceeding in being this mom. Today after making a batch of frosting I handed Aiden a spoonful and he licked it and told me it was very tasty. He then turned to me and said "You're the best!" To me, that was all that mattered.