Dear Life

Dear Life,
We've been together for some time now, 30 years and almost two months. I've been fairly good to you and you to me so I was wondering if you would consider a few requests.

1) Could we slow down a little? 30 years?? Really? Already?
2) It would be OK for me to be the first person ever to not have a single wrinkle (without medical intervention).
3) So long as we're discussing physical attributes I would love to be thin-ner by 31 with little effort on my part. Don't you burn calories baking??
4) If you could somehow work it out so that I could get one full night's sleep and awake on my own just one morning I would be forever indebted to you.
5) Do you have connections with the luck Gods?? If there's any chance you guys could work something out let me know and I'll go buy a lotto ticket. K? Thanks.
6) Don't go anywhere for a long long time. I enjoy my life and all the crazy it includes so you and I will have to stick it out for the long haul.