Friends?

There are so many different kinds of friends and friendships out there. To me there are 3 main categories.

Some fall into the "good friend" category. They are the ones I can count on, call in the middle of the night, share secrets with, wear my pj's around, invite over even when my house is a mess and complain to...about anything.

Then there are the "acquaintance friends". People you know and see regularly at the same activities with your kids. They are people you can chat with and maybe see outside out the group now and again but nothing too deep.

Then there are what I call the "fair weather friends". You know, the ones who want to only be there for the good stuff. As soon as something is wrong in your life they disappear. When things are good you are great friends, you hang out, share stories, chat on the phone, email, etc but you know that if you need them....they probably aren't going to be there.

Earlier this summer I met some people who I thought were going to be good friends. We all got along and laughed and laughed. We shared stories, secrets, and not everything was about sunshine and butterflies. Now, I put them in the good friend catalog b/c they listened intently about my problems, shared their own troubles and all was well. Suddenly these friends disappeared.

Today I asked another friend what happened and found out that these people I had put in the good friend category were really only fair weather friends. By my sharing what was going on in my life at the time, something very important and troubling to me, I lost these friends.

So I think I need a new category; selfish fair weather friends. These people only want to hear about your good days but want you to sit and listen to their bad day stories. Draining, unfulfilling relationships.

So, does it hurt? It hurts that it took over 2 months to find out what was going on. It hurts that people weren't honest. It hurts that these people portrayed themselves to be something they are not. What doesn't hurt is that I have lost their friendship b/c people like that I certainly don't need around.

I did it, yay me!

I graduated from therapy!!

The past few sessions I haven't been excited about going because I didn't really have anything I wanted to talk about. I had thought about cutting back but was nervous about approaching the subject with my therapist who can be a little less than flexible with scheduling.

Last week I had a session with her and while I know what she was trying to get at her method left me laughing and feeling like an idiot. It sounded like pyscho babble and I felt like an experiment. It just wasn't me, I wasn't comfortable and I didn't leave feeling any different. I did try though.

So all weekend I hemmed and hawed about therapy and what to do and finally I sent her an email. I told her that I wanted to take a break and see how I did. I was also very thankful for the work she has done. I have come so far since seeing her and she has helped me in ways I could never explain. I was very nervous when I hit the send button but guess what?? I was RIGHT!! She told me that she was thinking the same thing and that maybe in the future there would be more but she agrees that I've come so far! Yay!!!

I'm not sure which feels better....knowing that I've made such progress and change or knowing that I was right ;)

My Favorite Moments(s)

I have a friend who blogs and every Friday posts her favorite moment of the week. A lot of people loved the idea but didn't want to copy it. Recently she encouraged others to blog their favorite moment. So I sat down tonight and thought back on the week. My problem? I couldn't pick just one. So I've decided to bore you with all of them and I think they are all related to my kids :) Go figure!

#1 Aiden and Riley go to the fair.
Aiden loved all the animals and his eyes lit up with each new barn we entered. His favorite parts were the french fries (of course) and the National Guard bouncy house/obstacle course. He told me on the way home "did you see who helped me up the wall? The army man!!"
Riley loved the sights and sounds...well most of them. The sheep bleating terrified him and he was horrified upon entering Old McDonald's petting zoo. I gotta give it to him though, the sheep were bigger than he was and the ducks beaks were level with his face. Kind of creepy.

#2 Aiden at soccer practice. He makes me burst with pride as I watch him learn something new. I am amazed at how well he is doing. He's learned how to dribble, pass, trap and change directions. My favorite part of soccer was when they played a game called stuck in the mud. Team mates had to help "un-stick" others and it was so amazing to watch them all work together. Sigh.....

#3 Riley says mama and gives love.
Riley, for those of you who don't know, doesn't speak. He has said words in the past and does say mama now and again but that's it. Tonight he was walking around for a good while saying mama over and over. He came to sit with me and I asked for a kiss and got the customary shake of the head no. I begged and pleaded and he gave me some love. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so I got soooo many kisses, it was wonderful. I love love.

#4 Tucker watches cartoons.
Tucker, our new dog, is nervous with the kids. He's just unsure of what those creatures are going to do next and in general has avoided being alone with them....until this morning. I was in the kitchen making breakfast (ripping open cereal bar wrappers:) and when I returned to the living room Tucker and Aiden were cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons. I think it's all going to work out just fine.

So....no one moment that stands out as better than the others. Maybe I am just really indecisive (boring).

It's been a while...

So it's been months since I last blogged. I guess I am not a good blogger. I do have to tell you, though, that I find myself more involved in my real life when I am less involved with my online friends and that's a good thing. Not that I don't enjoy all of my online friends but you know what I mean...I hope :)

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately. Sadie started a new job and has some different hours. So far it's been tough, we need to find a new routine/groove. I know that will come in time. Until then I am a little overwhelmed and haven't had much time for myself.

Another change happened after a debate about working moms vs. stay at home moms on a website I used to frequent. We were a group of moms who had been together for a while and had never really had any controversy in our group. In fact, we left another site to avoid drama. Well, drama happened and feelings were hurt and even though I think everyone apologized for hurting feelings (even unintentionally) the group was just never the same. Some left for good, others aren't there as much and it just doesn't feel the same. I tried to go back and post as normal but it just feels weird now with people missing. I don't know.....maybe it will blow over eventually.

So those two things have added up to me spending more time with my kids. Now, I am a stay at home mom so how could I spend more time with them you ask? More quality time, how about that? Fall has also helped in that regard. Fall brought the return of story times to our local libraries, the return of art group, and cooler weather means we practically live outside right now. We have a fire in our fire pit just about every night and we don't go in until it's either bath or bed time.

My little guys amaze me every day. There have been no major events but all the little ones that have reminded me why I love being a mom;
Aiden learned how to get the swing going by himself so now he can swing any time he wants to without help.
The pumpkins in the garden amaze the boys each day as they become more and more orange. Every time I ask Riley for a kiss he shakes his head no over and over and giggles until I do it with him and we both get dizzy....then he gives me a kiss.
Aiden is learning so much in school and he comes home so excited to tell me everything, like how his favorite color is pink and all the other colors too!
Riley was mesmerized by a group of hummingbirds the other day and because he was so intent on watching them he didn't see the one that was hovering right next to his head.
Riley's curls are amazing and you couldn't get them from a salon no matter how much you paid.
Aiden tells me he loves me at least 25 times a day and it never gets old.
Riley likes to show everyone his new shoes and get compliments.
Aiden has amazing manners and uses them without prompting.

Like I said, nothing huge, nothing out of the ordinary but those are the things that stick out in my mind, the things that make me smile and feel proud of them every day.

I have journals that I keep for the boys. I used to try to write in them at least once a month and write paragraph after paragraph about what they had learned, their favorite things, etc. I had been having a really hard time keeping up with it lately and finally came to the realization that I didn't need to write full paragraphs I just needed to write enough to remember. So I am back to logging these little moments in their journals with the hope that someday we will look back and all remember the little things that made our life so full.